Her Heart's Thoughts

2 days from now and 2011 will be gone just like that. It will be a year that we saw and conquered in our own ways. Each individual will write their own story. It could be a story of love, achievement, happiness or sadness. We chose this story from the moment we counted down to 2011 and now it’s up to us to finish it. I don’t know what your story is but I can share with you mine. It’s not that amazing story you read in novels, it’s just a story of my 2011 life. When guys were counting down to usher in 2011, I was shedding tears. My pal had just been involved in a terrible accident and was at ICU. His life was hanging by a thread. It was my worst New Year usher. I’m glad to say to his well and very health. The English people usually say that the way you start a new year is very important because it will reflect through the entire year. I never believed in this saying but I can surely say that it’s true. 2011 has been the year which I have shed the most tears. I ushered it cryin...

My favourite description of love is from the movie Captain Corelli’s Mandolin: (Iannis to Pelagia) When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are become so entwined together that is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No...don’t blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love had burned away. I love you, not for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you...Roy Croft. Love creates an "us" without destroying a "me"....Unknown. I love you not only for w...

As I walked into the park, a strong wave hit me. I wondered to myself what it was. But I wasn't worried or scared instead I felt peaceful. I never thought I’ll feel that way the day I would walk into the park. I used to be scared because I thought to myself that a lot of Kenyans lost their lives on that day at that place. But that feeling wasn't there at all. I actually felt great and good that I had actually gone to that place. I even wondered why I never went earlier. As I strolled in the park, the feeling was amazing. I can't even put it in words of how I actually felt at that moment. A moment that will stay with me forever, a tale I will live to tell my kids. I got an opportunity to watch a bomb blast movie in the premises. It was such a touching movie that made me tear at some point. Watching what our lovely country went through thirteen years ago really touched my life. When it occurred many of us were small. So, getting a chance to see what happened i...

Its been two months since I last wrote. I could blame it on my job, my hectic life or the lack of inspiration but no, I blame myself. If I wanted to write I would have. I won't promise that this is the beginning of a fresh start because I don't want to make a promise which I have a deep feeling, I won't be able to fulfill. But I'll do my best to write weekly. At least that's a start. It's been a crazy two months. I became an year old, cheers to that. I took a trip to Coast for my birthday. I didn't know what to get myself, I decided to treat myself to a one week holiday in Mombasa 'Raha' as they call it. The trip was worth it. I took a break from my so called busy world. I needed to reflect about my life and the direction its taking. Our life sometimes can be so hectic that we lose ourselves in the process. Honestly I had lost myself but now I'm fine, wait I'm more than fine. In November my mum fell sick and was admitted to the hospital. ...

I want to touch on a sensitive topic and I'm not doing it because I want to piss anyone off, but I'm doing it because I want to share the irony about it. 'Weight' is such a sensitive topic amongst women. Everywhere we go, you'll find a woman who's having issues   with her weight and most of the time that woman wants to lose it. The irony about this is that I'm the opposite of it. I'm that girl who wants to gain weight and feels so bad every time I lose a Kg. I'm sensing the attitude. Yes, I'm the opposite.  Honestly it's not everyday that someone wants to gain weight but when I stepped on that weighing scale and it read 52kgs, my mouth gasped open. I couldn't believe it. I recalled several times telling Mr that I'm losing weight and he'll always tell me you look fine and I'll tell myself my clothes still fit me. But the weighing scale was the moment of truth for me.  Currently I'm weighing 52kgs. I'm ...

It's been awhile since I was last here, 5 months ago to be precise. I can't say have been busy with work. No! Honestly speaking have just been lazy. Lazy to write. This laziness has been showing itself in my life for a while now but I'm done with being lazy. However I don't know whether to call it laziness or a baggage. Whatever it was, I'm now done with it and back to myself. Each passing day Mr used to ask me, when are you going to write again. My answer as always was soon. I wonder why I write. Is it because I love writing or is it my way of pouring down my thoughts? Honestly I write because I just want to write. I don't consider myself a writer or even a good one. Writing is a way of healing for me. It's like a conversation I have with myself and the paper. I want to start doing it often. 'Ha Sido Un Tiempo' meaning It's Been Awhile. I want to learn a language and I'm thinking of doing Spanish. I love the way the Spanish people ...

It's that time of the year for coloring eggs, cuddling bunnies and reflections on faith. Easter! A time we share it with family and friends. Each one of us does it differently. Some pack their bags and take a trip to a place they'll unwind for a couple of days with family or friends, while others gather as a family (family gatherings). Easter is a time I usually envy the guys who get 4 off days. With my kind of job I don't get to enjoy the luxury of enjoying any holiday unless it falls on my off days. My family got used to the fact that their little girl will not be there during any holiday but I always make it at any place they'll be ( It's called skyving from work, I need to at least enjoy the holidays) :) :) Good Friday went to work in the afternoon thanks to my colleague/pal @amGeorgeKariuki , his the best colleague one could ever have at a workplace :) I got to enjoy morning breakfast with my family, something we rarely do at normal days because of our he...

I recently joined the World Food Programme ( Fighting Hunger Worldwide) community in Kenya, my initiative to do my part to fight hunger in Kenya, to build a better Kenya and world. Motivation from my loving mother. What was meant to be a training trip for my mum in Daadab, Kenya (Biggest refugee camps in the world) turned out to be an eye opener. Her experience there through her off balance, she didn't come back the same but as time passed by she became the mother I always knew. She now has a new mission to accomplish and I'm glad to be part of it. Mothers and children staring through a barbed wire fence, their little palms placed on the fence, little ones crying on the backs of their mothers. Concentration carried away by the new faces that have arrived in the area. Each one of them hoping that good news has been brought their way. Heaviness filled her heart, eyes were then filled with tears and mixed emotions raced through her mind. She stretched out her hand to the l...

The Ocampo 6 took the stand at 10:33am in front of the Pre -Trial Chamber at The Hague and the entire country came to a standstill watching the proceedings keenly, each one with a different expectation of the outcome. At 11:27am the initial hearing came to an end, estimated time 1hour and 34minutes. Flashback to 2007-2008 in less than 24 hours the country was destroyed, over 1,000 lives of children, women and men was lost and around 600,000 Kenyans left homeless. 11:27am the clock stopped. My heart became heavy, eyes filled with tears and memories started flowing. December 27th, 2007 saw my country Kenya being ripped off its dignity. War was taking place in a country I called home and one that I always stood firm in defending it when others were criticizing it. What had happen? A question I’m still trying to find an answer to until today.   At this time I took a moment to think of my fellow Kenyan citizens (idps) who have been refugees in their own country for ov...

As I visited my twitter page just to check what’s new, I bumped into a tweet tread of #CUEAchics on nude photos. Nudity photography is becoming a normal thing in Kenya. Just recently Muliro Gardens was the talk of town. However the so called “models” in Kenya are messing up the art of this kind of photography. Nudity photography goes back all the way to 1849. Back then the photos were referred to as "cheesecake” photos or simple nude photos. Felix - Jacques Moulin was the first photographer to sell nude photos especially daguerreotypes of teenage nude girls. Nude photography is a style of art photography which depicts the nude human body as a study. It should be distinguished from glamour photography, which places more emphasis on the model and her/his sexuality, and treats the model as the primary subject. It should also be distinguished from erotic photography, which has a sexually suggestive component. Nude photography is also distinguished from pornographic photography, wh...

Article inspired by listening to this song  I Just Had Sex Feat Akon   thanks to a good pal who wanted to make my day. It’s definitely made my day, can’t stop listening to it. The song has over 70m hits since it got posted on 19 th Dec, 2010 on You Tube. It has sold over 250,000 digital copies in the USA, in its first two weeks. It made me thinking, the word “sex” sells. Use the word on an advert, movie, song or gossip; automatically it captures people’s attention. Few of our artists here at home have used it to get ‘fame’ and its proved to have worked. The question I pose, did the use of “sex” to promote products and bring fame start recently or was it there before our parents thought they’ll end up together???  Sex in advertising started since the beginning of advertising. The first companies to cash lots of money with the use of “sex” advertising were; W. Duke & Sons introduced in 1885 thanks to the advert become the leading cigarette brand by 1890, J...

Over the weekend I’ve been thinking a lot about Acceptance. It’s a battle we are all fighting. It’s the common thing us human beings share no matter the classes in society we are in, we want to be ACCEPTED... Acceptance deals with positive welcome; favour and endorsement. In which, a person could like someone and have acceptance for them due to their approval of that person. Top of my list is; SELF acceptance. Self acceptance is being in love and happy with whom you are now. It’s an agreement with yourself to appreciate, validate, accept and support who you are at this moment. Many people are not content with themselves or what they have at the moment. They are either competing with themselves or with their friends. When he buys a powerful car, he goes ahead and buys a better one just to prove a point. Yes, they are such men out there don’t think it’s only ladies who compete amongst themselves. I can’t even list the things ladies compete over because the list is endless. How...

I’m the typical girl who has been hurt and as a result walks around saying that there are no good men left. If she meets a good man, she’s not able to tell coz she’s carrying his mistakes. His mistakes have pushed away good men. His mistakes have made this girl walk around with a bitter heart, making her put all the men in his basket. His mistakes have made her make the bar & bartenders her new found friends. Chilling at the bar, having shots and shouting that she’s done with men. His mistakes have turned her to someone she’s not. She’s become a Bitch! She sits and reflects on the past and realizes she’s become different and it pisses her off every time. He left the relationship with all the benefits. She made him a better man... What was she left with? A heart filled with bitterness. Damn! He won. Reality checks in, she stands and dusts off the dirt. Makeover top of her list, she arranges all the clutter in her life and starts living life a fresh. She decides to turn...

I’m a lover of cocktails; nothing makes my night than several glasses of cocktails... Had a rough day on Monday, so I rewarded myself with one glass of a special cocktail... In my surprise I got more than I expected. Went in for a cocktail and got out with a package... Sited at the counter, my sis and I enjoying our cocktails, next to me was an attractive man, one I can stand looking at... Yes, stand looking at... He initiated a polite conversation not those stupid conversation that men start to get your attention... I call them stupid coz have experienced them... And I can’t stand them... His conversation was quite interesting... While the gals were enjoying their cocktails, he was enjoying his mocktail... I got curious; you’re in a bar on a Monday drinking a mocktail... Why don’t you just buy a packet of juice and go drink it at home... As we kept on talking my questions were answered. He doesn’t drink... Point of correction, His never drunk... I was amused... Yes, I was... ...

I’m not very good with handling death. It really affects me so much. I've lost a friend Grace. Her death is so sudden that have been unable to weep. It’s so sudden that I don’t know how to deal with it. All I can do is just sit and reflect on the laughter and talks we shared together. I didn’t know Grace for long but for the several months I got to know her, we had a connection. She’s the type of person, who makes you feel at home when you’re around her. She was motherly and had an amazing smile. I take time to connect with people but with her it was different. I connected with her in no time. Grace was pregnant & the little one liked me. It kicked one day when I touched her belly, it felt good. She was looking forward to having this baby. I even predicted and told her it will be a baby girl!!! Everything happens for a reason, that’s what I hear when tragic happens in people’s lives. I would like to believe in this phrase but it’s really hard. From where I’m sta...

As the world marks World Kidney Day, I'm celebrating a survivor of kidney disease, Doris. Doris is a survivor of kidney disease who only got a chance to tell her story to very few people. Doris was a young girl aged 14 years. She's had been suffering from the disease since the age of 12. My family came to know of her through church and my mum was touched by her story. Doris needed all the help she could get. My mum a kind hearted woman gathered her friends and took the initiative to help her. The journey started at Kenyatta Hospital. She was in and out of hospital for her dialysis treatment. The dialysis treatment was a very tiring procedure for her. Whenever we went to visit her, she was a beautiful girl lying in bed so weak. It was always an emotional moment for the people who went to visit her. She always did her best to be lively but through her eyes you could see the pain. The dialysis treatment went on for months. God came through for her, she got better. Doris wen...

As we celebrate the 100th Anniversary of International Women’s Day, the question I pose is: What is the origin of this celebration? International Women's Day is the story of ordinary women as makers of history; it is rooted in the centuries old struggle of women to participate in society on an equal footing with men. It was first celebrated on March 19, 1911 then moved to March 8 thereafter.  A million women and men rallied in support of women's rights on that first International Women's Day. The idea first arose at the turn of the century, which in the industrialized world was a period of expansion and turbulence, booming population growth and radical ideologies. International Women’s Day is a day that brings women on all continents, often divided by national boundaries and by ethnic, linguistic, cultural, economic and political differences, and come together to celebrate their Day. They can look back to a tradition that represents at least nine decades of struggle fo...